Values-Based Living
Shedding my Christian faith gave me a new sense of purpose, happiness, and confidence. However, I was also left with fear over how to navigate the world without my old map for guidance. After listening to a podcast called Psychologists Off The Clock, I learned to apply values-based living to my life.
Losing direction
As a result of losing my losing my religion, I sometimes felt my foundation was pulled from under me, and I was sinking quickly into an abyss. These feelings would typically surface when a major life decision or catastrophe occurred. In the past, I would lean on the comfort of prayer and the instructions from scripture to guide my choices.
As a newly dedicated nonbeliever, I was confused and scared during these moments of crisis. In other words, I no longer knew how to make decisions without the assurance that god’s hand was guiding me. Previously, I based everything I did off Biblical answers. I felt sure of all my choices, as I believed them to be “directed by god.” Although I do still choose to pray to power greater than myself in the form of Mother Nature, I do have a more abstract understanding of who god is, and no longer use Christian or Jewish scriptures as absolute truths.
Discovering a new compass in values-based living
Furthermore, as I was becoming my own source of reason, inspiration and goodness, I simultaneously had difficulty trusting myself to make these decisions. After all, my past understanding of god was of an infallible being, of which I clearly was not. How was I supposed to know what to do with my life? For instance, should I have my own children, or adopt? Should I return to school, or learn to be happy with my current career? Move to a new city, or stay put?
So, this new concept of values-based living especially filled the remaining gap from losing my religious principles. In addition, values-based living provided a compass for commonplace daily choices, such as how I would spend my time and my money. We all struggle in our highly achievement-based society to keep up with success and ownership. But living according to our values is a subtle reminder to go where our true values lead us, rather than where the media, friends/family and other outside pressures would have us go. Whereas I previously placed my complete faith in answers from above, I now doubted my own ability to make decisions for my life. However, values-based living gave me an opportunity to create a new guide for my life with principles to adhere to and self dictated structure.
What is values-based living?
Above all, values-based living is learning to choose a path that reflects your deepest desires, and aligns with your best self. Allowing our values to direct our path gives a sense of purpose and fulfillment throughout our day. Instead of allowing dissociative tendencies and habits dictate our choices, we can become more connected to our own stories, and entrust ourselves to write our own narrative, reflecting the core values we aspire to uphold in our lives. (See examples of values below).
Writing your own story
Ultimately, you can learn to trust your own instincts about what is good for you and your life. The power and wisdom to choose what matters most in your life, is inside of you. You don’t need a friend, family member, 2000 year old religion, or any other source of “truth” other than the truth that lives within you. If you’re placing your trust in any other guide, you’re missing out on the truth inside yourself. No one else knows what’s best for your life like you do. You are your own best Sensei.
Sometimes, a day, a week, a month or an entire year passes by and we feel dazed and shocked at “Where did the time go?” We may feel ashamed at how we lost that time and full of regret on how we spent our days. After experiencing this more than once, I’m now in the habit of asking myself: Am I living today according to my values? Our values, like most things in life, are always changing and evolving. With this intention of living a life with purpose, I routinely assign weekly values to focus on, and check in with myself daily to ensure I am living according to these chosen values. Also, when I’m faced with a problem or a decision, I ask myself, “What decision would best align with my values?” Below is a list of possible values to begin brainstorming your own personal value code.
Examples of values
- Authenticity
- Spirituality
- Strength
- Health
- Honesty
- Serenity
- Discipline
- Beauty
- Creativity
- Learning
- Wisdom
- Nature
- Connection
- Relationships
- Humor
- Peace
- Love
- Hope
- Growth
- Family
- Friendships
- Discovery
- Bravery
- Ethics
- Justice
- Inspiration
In conclusion, ascribing to a set of values, or even just one, can become a catalyst for living a life you can be proud of at the end of the day. For instance, if you value relationships, connection and family, but find yourself spending very little time with others, this may be an indication that it’s time to reorganize your life to incorporate more time for fulfilling moments with others. If you value creativity, but work a career that focuses more on exercising logic and reason, maybe it’s time for a career change, or necessary to make room for creative outlets on your days off.
If values based living is something you feel would benefit your life, check out the following resource below. Thanks for enjoying a cup of tea with me today. Live life according to your values…You deserve all the happiness the universe has to offer.
